Harry Potter Magazine
by She-who-must-not-be-named666
Summary: Draco get's frustrated by Harry Potter's Fame, but forms an obsession to a magazine article about him, but when his mother dies his priorites change..starting in 6th year..future Slash, Rating may rise, Warnings: Minor Character death and destructive beha
1. The object of Frustration

**Disclaimer: **right so the world of Harry Potter and stuff don't belong to me, just the plot does, and as always, Harry and Draco belong to each other, so please don't sue. You know the rest so let's just skip that.

**Warnings: **This is slash, in this case meaning sexual relations and feelings between two males, if you don't like it, simply DON'T READ IT. There will be minor character death and lots of angst, and some fluff, an eating disorder, and whatever else I come up with so, this is the warning, be warned.

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Draco Malfoy sat on his lavish bed and scowled down at his hands. They held a wizarding magazine he had just pulled out of a stack on his nightstand. The latest issue of "WT Monthly". And the face of none other then Harry Potter was staring up at him. Scowling deeper he read the words on the page "Harry Potter, inside the life of the Wizarding World's Savior". He let out a sound like a growl and threw the magazine across the room, but his rooms were so vast that it failed to hit a wall and crumple, instead skidding across the floor and sliding to a stop by a window. 

Harry Fucking Potter! He was always everywhere! Everywhere Draco turned; there he was, always giving him more and more of a will to hate the boy. Draco didn't have time to think of Harry Potter, though him being everywhere Draco looked certainly didn't help that matter. He had other things to worry about, more important things.

He remembered idly when he had been younger; his life had seemed to revolve around Potter and how to destroy him. He constantly dwelled on ways to pester him, anger him, whatever. He had been so naïve. He seemed to talk about Potter constantly; of course not much had changed on that account, though Draco wouldn't admit it. His Harry obsession was, of course, not worth his attention, as the boy himself.

Like he had said, he had more important things to worry about. He wondered vaguely when his rivalry had become an obsession.

Brushing that particular train of thought off his mind, he got up from the bed and walked to his study and its large curtained window overlooking the grounds. The heavy emerald curtains were drawn, letting in the grey light of the dim, cold morning. He pressed his hand against the window glass. It really was a cold day. The clouds heavily cloaked the sky, making everything grey up until the green tips of the trees that lay at the mouth of the dense forest surrounding Malfoy Manor. It was a good day to go out.

He glanced around him at his large rooms. His bedroom connected to a small study with plush overstuffed leather chairs and bookshelves filled to two rows of heavy volumes on each shelf, at the opposite end was his bathroom and there was a pristine and fancy sitting room at the far west end which was completely cut off from his little private world except for the gap in the wall connecting it doorlesly to his rooms. It was only used for entertaining tutors and guests of course. Really his rooms were one large room, he thought. His eyes wander down to the wood floors and found Potter's face looking up at him again from the laminated magazine cover. He stepped over the discarded magazine and out through the door of his room.

It was days like this he loved to stay inside and read his piles of books, but it was just too beautiful to stay inside, he had to go out and wander the grounds. He suspected it would rain soon as he looked up at the grey clouds, he decided he didn't really care. Rain fit on a cold day like this one.

He crossed the small wooden bridge that stretched over the thin stream at the side of the manor and headed up the side of a hill where he'd find a flat top full of trees. He walked through the forests, watching the birds cry and soar through the air and marveling at the way the trees stood against the sky. He heard the distant clouds rumble. A few minutes later water began to drizzle lightly down on him, quickly becoming a heavy shower shaking the leaves with its pounding drops of rain.

Heading back home, he stopped at the bridge and turned, leaning against the grey rocky walls of the manor. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy the smell of the fresh rain and the sound of the drops of water hitting the ground and everything surrounding him, unsettling the dirt and the dust all around him. He loved the way the rain could just sweep down and unsettle everything, uncover everything. He let out a sigh and opened his eyes as the water seeped through his hair and down the back of his neck as he turned and headed towards the entrance to the manor.

He entered the castle like manor and headed up to his rooms on the far west end of the second floor. He didn't need to worry about being scolded for wetting the floors and carpets because there was never anyone around. He wasn't sure if anyone was even home, though he doubted anyone was. If they were, if his mother was, she was probably busy in some remote part of the manor that would take Draco some two hours to get to. There was something delicious yet so lonely about being so alone in this vast and empty manor that was more like a castle, perched in its valley surrounded by mountains and forests, with only the dense trees and cold sky to keep it company.

Up in his room he changed out of his wet cloths and into a heavy hooded sweater and a dry pair of jeans. Whispering some words to the fire place it lit and he sat down on one of his chairs with a blanket. He pulled out a notebook and a quill and began to write until his hand hurt. By that time it was dark outside and his hair had dried. He whispered a command and the curtains closed as he headed to bed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

The next day was just as cold and grey as the day before and he walked again. The day after that was just as grey as well and he walked again, wasting his time away and biding it to pass faster, though to what it would lead to he didn't know. Probably just more empty days to waste away. His days as a child had been filled with lessons and tutors, classes, dinners, and trips to London with his father. Now he was left alone and time just wasted by. His father of course had fast tired of his son and now with his private affairs so hectic, he had no time to spare anyway.

And Draco was quickly forgotten. Of course, he wasn't sure he if he didn't prefer it this way. The cold solitude was comforting and so was the empty silence and only once in a while did he wish to fill it, like right now. But he soon became numb again and didn't care.

He was back in his room. He showered and dressed in warm cotton cloths, silk was cold. He returned to his writing again until the sky began to darken and he drew the curtains closed. As he stood up and began to put his things away he noticed something lying on the floor by the window reflecting the candlelight. He walked to pick it up and there was the magazine he had thrown so many days ago. He picked it up and sat back down in his armchair and turned the page.

He glanced lazily at the listed contents of the magazine. Quidditch teams of the year, Dragon rebellions in the east, latest wizard books. He much preferred the muggle books anyway; his second stack of books was all muggle, the first stack mostly heavy wizarding volumes to hide the muggle ones he read. His eyes found what they had been unconsciously looking for and he turned to page 79xb. There was that face again and those green eyes with those ridiculous glasses.

He read a passage that caught his eye, "The revelation of Harry's godfather, Black, was startling to us all and Harry reveals his passing was very difficult on him. He relays the story of Black to us and of how he had in fact tried to save the Potter family at the last minute while the blame was truly to be put on one Peter Pettigrew for the death of the Potters" Draco knew all this from his father telling him after his third year but he kept reading. He read about their old DADA professor Lupin, and about Voldemorts plot of using Black to lure Potter (some of which Draco already knew) and finally of the "undisclosed location" where Black met his end. Draco knew most of the end part, but it was interesting to hear how Harry seemed to take it. Through his words and his fake smile, Draco could see the masked pain easily. He must have been very attached to black and Draco thought it seemed a shame he had died, but reading things like "Such a brave young man" and "So courageous and blah blah blah", brought his resentment back.

The boy was just another wizard for Merlin's sake! He was ordinary like everyone else but nobody seemed to see it and it angered Draco to no end. He was nothing but a publicity seeking little muggleborn who got lucky. HE scanned down the rest of the page and caught a quote "I'm just another ordinary wizard, there are thousands of them, I'm not so different from them". This made Draco laugh. He glanced back up at the picture of Harry, smiling shyly but falsely, Draco recognized. He looked at him with his stupid messy hair and ridiculous glasses. Well he would be seeing that face soon enough, he thought as he dropped the magazine on the table and headed to his bed. Hogwarts was only two weeks away.

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He was flying on his broomstick to pass the time a week later. He wished time would go by faster. Of course it didn't really matter since being at Hogwarts was just as dull as being at home, though secretly he knew this wasn't true. None the less he still wanted time to go by faster. In three days time he would be in Diagon Alley to purchase his school supplies and then the next day would see him on the train to Hogwarts. He waited out those three days impatiently.

When the time finally came, a servant of his fathers came to fetch him and take him to Diagon Alley to shop for his 6th year supplies and his stay had been arranged at the Luxurious Underground Inn at the center of Diagon Alley.

He packed his things noting dully that this was the first time his father wasn't taking him to get his things, to tell him what to get, what he'd need, and to give him advice. He wasn't sure if this was a bad thing. Though it did leave him with a somewhat sad feeling. He was without his father's guidance now and out from under his wing, no matter how cold, harsh, or demanding it was.

He finished with his cloths and now stashed about three muggle books in his trunk. The only ones left he hadn't already read. He packed his quills and his leather bound writing book when something on his table caught his eye. It was the magazine again. And there He was again, the damn golden boy. He closed his trunk and glanced back at the magazine and its irritating cover. The green eyes sparkled and the jet black hair glinted through the pictures movements. He lifted the lid of his trunk and snatched up the magazine. He stuck it underneath one of his folded robes and closed the lid of the trunk and locked it.

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At Diagon Alley he was given a heavy pouch of coins and a servant to carry his purchases. After he had everything bought and pilled up in the servant's arms he handed the man a galleon and said "Take these to my rooms". The man looked reluctant for a moment and Draco was sure his father had given him orders to watch him, but the man then nodded and hurried off, looking a comedy with all the boxes and bags piled high in his arms.

Draco smirked and headed off to buy what he wanted now with the money he had saved from the pouch. There were privileges to going to London without his father, now he could purchase whatever he really wanted, not just what his father wanted for him. He went to Gringotts first and secretly exchanged some of the money for muggle money.

He decided a trip to muggle London first was easier. AS he headed out of Diagon Alley he pulled off his clock and pulled up the hood of his sweater so no one could easily recognize him.

When He reached muggle London he spent most of his money on books which had been his initial goal. He spent so much time at the book store that by the time he had left it was dark. He thought it better to head back and bought a large box of assorted chocolates that would last him at least two months until his first hogsmead visit. He charmed them so they would last through those months and still be tasty as well.

As he headed back to the darkened streets of Diagon Alley he stopped to buy some owl treats for his eagle owl Egor, and a new broom cleaning kit. He liked to clean and repair his won broom, but his father always insisted he had servants do it for him so he could never get his own kit, so he took this opportunity to buy one for himself.

He decided it was just about time to head to his rooms when he was startled by a hoot close by. He was sure he wasn't anywhere near the owlery now as he turned to find a snowy white owl perched on a bench near him. He couldn't help but reach out and the owl aloud him to stroke it's silky feathers. He smiled and said "What a beautiful nice boy". At this the owl snapped at his fingers angrily and he said "Pardon me, what a beautiful nice _girl_". He reached into his pockets and pulled out one of Egor's owl treats which he offered to the bird.

He turned his head quickly as he heard the sound of footsteps pounding on gravel at a run and a familiar voice calling something out. He didn't want to be seen or talked to and instinctively took a spot behind a near by pillar where he wouldn't be seen.

He saw a figure run up to the owl and throw it's hood back as a panting voice said "Hedwig!" Draco made a decidedly agitated noise as he saw that the person had been no other then Harry Potter. The boy was everywhere! How much Draco hated him! He saw him pick up the owl and say "come on then lets go" and noticed white specks littering his dark hair. It was snowing, he realized, and Potter's head was now covered with glittering white flakes, little drops glistening on his face where they had melted. Draco turned and headed to his rooms, slightly in a bad mood.

When he got there his keys where at the front desk along with a message for him that he was to have dinner with his father at 8:00. It was 7:45 and he rushed to get dressed or really to become appropriate for him. AS he headed to the rooms his father had chosen for them to dine in, he wondered why his father hadn't taken him to get his things since he was here anyway.

He traversed a few heavily decorated cream colored hallways until he got to the room where his father was seated at a heavily laden small cream colored table in front of a fire. He entered and took his seat at the table with all the old formalities. His father droned on about how irritating things were and of how he had had to punish two death eaters. He didn't seem to have minded the punishing but went on and on about how stupid they had been and their silly mistakes and how he was busy all day cleaning up their mess but had had dinner free,

Finally he fell silent and Draco had wanted this but now felt uncomfortable, "So Harry Potter was in "WT" this month" Draco drawled "Whining about his godfather dying and what not, how it was "difficult" for him" Draco scoffed "It was pathetic, they called him things like "such a brave boy" and" "Oh Draco do shut up about that Potter boy, you sound as if your obsessed, I'm glad you've taken such a dislikening of the boy but must you talk about him every minute" his father interrupted. Draco looked down at his plate. He had only been trying to fill the silence but his father always seemed to want to correct him.

"Anyway I hear you purchased your school things today, I hope…." His father drawled on about brands he should have gotten and extra thing he needed and hoped Draco had been smart enough to get, if not he would send for them of course…And it went on like that until Draco was finally relived to his room.

Once there he opened the box of Chocolates he had gotten and pulled out a few as he settled into his large dark colored bed. He blew out the candle at his bedside and slept as he listened to Egor hooting gently in the dark.

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**Author's Note: **Well this is a fic I started out of boredom and obsession in class a while ago and I just re-started it and wanted to put it up. Tell me what you guys think please, reviews keep me going! half-inspired by Iron Maiden's The wicker man and Infinite Dreams. More will be posted real soon as soon as i get it organized, R&R and I'll love you forever!(as desperate as that sounds) Anyway if it's liked I'll post the rest and keep going . 


	2. The object of a forming obsession

The next day he headed through the busy platform of 9 ¾ alone while a servant took his things onto the train. He searched for a familiar face and, not finding many, headed onto the train, walking back to the very last compartment where his things awaited him. He felt anxious, though he couldn't explain why. Maybe it was just the feeling of the first day of his 6th year or something. He sat there silently and the train began to move.

This year Crabbe and Goyle had left the school and joined up with the death eaters, something he hoped never to do, so it was quiet and pretty boring in his compartment. Not that Crabbe and Goyle had ever provided any worth while companionship or held interesting conversations either.

He opened his trunk to search for a book and found the corner of a gleaming green eye staring up at him. He reached for a book at the far corner of his trunk but changed his mind at the last minute and pulled out the magazine.

There was that face again. He opened the magazine to the article on latest wizard books, read a few lines, then turned the page to the article on potter. He was halfway through re-reading it when the door of his compartment slid open loudly. Startled, he slammed the magazine closed and instinctively tried to hide the cover. Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bulstrode walked into the compartment through the now open door. "So all alone in here now that your muscle left to join Voldy ay Malfoy" Blaise said lazily, moving to take a seat in the compartment.

"What do you want?" Draco drawled. "Well that's friendly" Blaise replied, feigning hurt feelings, "We just wanted to provide you with some company" , "That, and Pansy is driving us out of our minds!" Millicent said. The heavy set Slytherin girl took a seat on the bench across from Draco and said "I swear, if I have to be stuck with her for another train trip I will avada kadavra her little ass".

Blaise grinned and said "I wish you would". Taking a seat next to Draco, he grabbed the magazine Draco had been vainly trying to hide out of his hands and stared at the cover. "Oh I've read this one" he stated, "The one where Potty whines about his godfather". He yawned and flipped his long black hair over his shoulder in a way Draco found extremely annoying. "Let's see what else is here, ah this year's quidditch team, you read this one yet?" he asked. Draco shook his head. "How about the Goblin rebellion article?", again Draco shook his head. "The Zodiac page?" Blaise asked, slightly put out. Draco shook his head again and realized that he hadn't even glanced at much of the rest of the magazine. The only thing he had read was the article on potter. Twice.

"Well that's no fun", Blaise said, tossing the magazine to the side. Draco gave him an annoyed look and picked up the magazine, putting it back in his trunk. Blaise shrugged, "I suppose now that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle dumb are gone you won't be making your little visit to Potter's compartment?" he said, referring to Crabbe and Goyle. Draco thought for a second, then said "No I suppose not", slightly disappointed at the lost opportunity.

"Well we still could go you know" Millicent noted, "The three of us that is". "Then let's go" Blaise said eagerly, standing up. "Mustn't keep Potter waiting, he might think we're not showing up, and I'd hate to disappoint him". "Plus" he added slyly, "I'm feeling slightly malicious today".

The three Slytherins filed out of the compartment and into the isle. "He's in that one" Millicent said, pointing towards the one two compartments down and across from theirs. Draco let Blaise play Malfoy in the middle while he played Crabbe to his left, Millicent standing in for Goyle on the right.

They walked rudely into the compartment and Blaise began, "Saw you in "Wt" Potter, whining about your godfather" with a nasty sneer he added, " too bad they hadn't gotten you too". Draco rolled his eyes at all this and thought Blaise was quite bad at insulting and definitely not worth playing Malfoy no matter how much the other boy tried to imitate him. He was already bored with the whole thing.

His gaze strayed to Millicent while Blaise went on. She was staring at something and Draco followed her gaze to the Weasel. Draco wondered without much interest why she was staring at him like that in the first place, then his gaze found Harry, who had stood up to challenge Blaise. The boy looked pretty angry, his emerald eyes glinting with a slight madness. Draco saw Blaise reach into his pocket with a nasty grin.

So this is what he had wanted the whole time, Draco thought, a shot at Potter. With the way Blaise looked Draco got slightly worried, he didn't look like he was going to shoot out a simple jelly legs curse and he had his wand out already, Harry didn't. Draco stuck his hand in his pocket and before he knew what he was doing, he shot a spell at Blaise's outstretched hand from the inside of his jacket pocket, leaving a nasty burn hole through the material but disarming the other boy.

The wand shot out of Blaise's hand and he looked around surprised. "Let's leave, it's not worth it" Draco said. Harry fixed him with a bewildered look, making Draco's stomach give a lurch as he wondered whether he had grown an extra nose or something…

"I said let's go" Draco repeated coldly as he saw Blaise had not stood down. "Accio Wand" he called and Blaise's wand flew into his hand. "You heard Draco" Millicent said, hitting Blaise on the arm. The boy turned and left the compartment and Millicent turned to leave but Draco noticed her pointing her wand secretly and muttering a few words. Draco smirked as he saw Weasley's bright orange head of hair turn pink. She walked out giggling with Draco behind her. He gave one last look back and found Harry's bright green eyes on him in an inquiring look. He met his gaze for a second and then he was out into the isle and back in his compartment with Blaise fuming quietly and Millicent bursting into soft laughter.

It seemed the charm she had put on the weasel was semi-permanent because when he entered the great hall his hair was still pink with a few spots of red now visible. Parts of the Slytherin table burst into laughter and Draco took a seat alone at the far end, listening to Dumbledore's crack pot speech and then picking at his food until the student body was dismissed for bed.

He stepped into his familiar dark dorm room and emptied out his books and his magazine into the expanded drawers of his nightstand, placing his trunk at the foot of his bed. He and Zabini were the only ones in the room now that Crabbe and Goyle were gone and Draco realized he really disliked the boy.

He climbed into his bed and magicked the dark green and silver curtains closed with a locking charm and laid back. After a few minutes of taking in his surroundings he stripped off all his clothes and climbed beneath the heavy dark green bedspread where he lay sleeplessly for two hours, looking up into the dark canopy of his large dark wood bed.

Finally, he reached into his nightstand for a book but found the magazine clutched in his hand instead. He stared at it for a moment before stuffing it under his pillow and going to sleep.

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First day of classes were rushed and drab, all they basically did were reviews and by dinner time Draco was back in his closed off dorm and getting ready for bed. It seemed to be the beginning of another monotonous year at Hogwarts. The next day was triple potions, three hours in the dungeons with Snape, the Gryffindors, and the insufferable Longbottom.

As Draco strolled into the classroom toward his usual empty table Millicent caught his eye and beckoned for him to sit with her. Draco thought it over for a second, looked over at his usual seat, saw that Blaise Zabini had taken up the spot next to it, and headed toward Millicent.

She had chosen a table one table behind that of the golden trio and was staring at the weasel. Draco rolled his eyes and began to take out his material when Millicent began to speak to him. "You weren't at dinner Draco" she said, "and you didn't eat breakfast today, you must be starving!". Draco looked at her and said "some of us don't feel the need to stuff our faces with food every few hours Millicent". At this the girl looked a little hurt and Draco looked away.

"Wonder where Potter is…" he said offhandedly, glancing at his empty seat between the weasel and mudblood. Parvati Patil wandered over to them and began to chat about something as Snape silently slipped into the classroom, robes billowing. "Ms. Patil" he said icily, causing the girl to jump and squeal rather unbecomingly. "Do you have a reason for being out of your seat?". She opened her mouth to speak but Snape interrupted her, "Doesn't matter, take a seat next to Ms. Granger, we will be doing a three partner potion today", and with that he turned and began spelling instructions onto the board.

Draco looked back at Blaise who seemed to be gathering his things to join them. At that moment the door swung open and Potter came in, panting and sweating, "Sorry professor, Sir Cadigon tried to…" but he was cut off by Snape, "Potter 5 points from Gryffindor for your tardiness, now go join Ms. Bulstrode and Mr. Malfoy for your three partner potions assignment" he said without even looking up from his desk and parchment.

Harry stared at Snape, then at the weasel and the mudblood, then turned and headed towards Draco's table and took a seat next to Millicent. Draco looked back to see Blaise turn towards Pansy's table with a look of disappointment and he smirked with relief. He did not want to be stuck next to him for the next three hours. "I see Weasley still hasn't gotten all the pink out of his hair" Millicent commented, giggling. From Draco it would have sounded like an insult, but Millicent's face was so good natured that Harry chuckled and said "Ya, I have to learn that one..". "Like my handiwork?" She replied with a laugh. Draco ignored them both and began to cut up his Daisy roots as instructed on the board.

Two hours later, the almost expected sound of a cauldron bursting came to their ears as Longbottom screwed up his potion again and splattered everyone with his potion. A large portion hit Snape's desk which vanished instantly on contact. This startled everyone and just as suddenly, LongBottom was missing his cloths and his nose, Granger was squeaking as her shirt disappeared and Ron tried to cover her.

Millicent's quill disappeared and she stepped back from the table. Draco, unscathed, began to laugh until a second eruption brang more potion flying at them. Draco's robes and pants suddenly disappeared, Harry Began to laugh until his glasses and his chair disappeared and he toppled backwards, grabbing and overturning Draco's chair in the process with Draco still in it.

The class was in chaos around them as Draco landed with a thud right on top of Harry. For a few seconds he stared bewildered into Harry's suddenly clear emerald eyes, and then he jumped off of him and began to dust himself off, Harry sat up and began looking around for his glasses, "Fuck, I can't see" He mumbled. "Your glasses vanished you dolt" Draco drawled. "You're not going to find them on the floor".

"Oh" Harry said, giving up his search. Millicent lent Harry a hand and helped him up from the floor and he staggered into the table with a painful "umph", almost spilling their cauldron full of potion. "Oh here" Draco said with an irritated sigh as Harry turned and bumped into another table. He swung him around and pointed his wand at the boy's eyes, muttering a fixing spell. It hit him in between the eyes and he blinked a few times before exclaiming "I can see!". "Only for today" Draco said.

Snape called out to dismiss the class and Draco gathered up his things and stepped out of the chaos and into the halls. He had forgotten that he was only in his shirt and boxers until a group of slytherin girls walked by.

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**author's note: **Thank you to ditzbabe592 and ATadObsessive46 who reviewed my story, this is the second chapter and im working on the third, so the magazine keeps making its appearance, and now so does harry, please R & R! everyone loves reviews once in a while ;), i love to hear what people think about my story.  



	3. A letter

By the next day Draco really was starving after missing lunch and dinner. He headed to breakfast and decided to eat for the first time in a few days. He grabbed a piece of toast and a glass of O.J as he looked over his charms homework from the night before. He finished his toast and got up to leave when Millicent grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the table.

"Is that all your going to eat Draco?" She asked. He glared at her as she began to load his plate and said "You need your energy, Quidditch practice is starting soon, eat!" "Who are you, my mother?" Draco said as he crossed his arms defiantly over his chest and glared at the large brunet girl. It did no good and he was force feed toast and jam until lunch was over.

As he headed out of transfiguration that afternoon he took a turn into the boys' bathroom. He was feeling extremely unsettled and his stomach was complaining fiercely. He leaned against a sink and stared into the mirror. All that food this morning hadn't agreed with him at all. His stomach wasn't used to it anymore. He tried hard to fight his unusually large breakfast threatening to rise as he headed late to Arithmancy.

He was forced to take an empty seat next to Granger because of his tardiness and he cursed Millicent once again for not minding her own business and eating schedule.

The lesson seemed to go by without incident or hostility between the two and Draco was just finishing his 60th equation when Granger's quill rolled off their shared desk and he automatically reached out and caught it, placing it back onto the desk. "Thanks…" Granger said, staring at him awkwardly. "Reflex" he said and shrugged, going back to his equations.

He was interrupted once again by Granger as she said, "Hey, I wanted to know what spell you used on Harry, it seems really useful, I'd like to teach it to him. Ignoring the strangeness of the foreign civility that had descended upon them, Draco replied "It's called the Oculus Charm, but don't bother, it has to be redone every day". The teacher dismissed the class and Draco headed out of the classroom.

In a slightly better mood then normal, Draco headed towards his dorm. As he turned a corner Pansy Parkinson's sobbing figure crashed into him. She looked into his face and suddenly took on the look of a deer caught in headlights and extended a trembling hand out to him, clutching a letter.

He looked down at the letter, then back up at her tear streaked face, and back down to the letter. It was torn open and addressed to him, Draco Malfoy. He snatched the letter from her hand roughly as Pansy's stricken face and sobbing and his steadily reddening face began to draw a crowd.

He opened the letter and let his eyes scan over it for a second. Suddenly he froze. The subject of the letter floated into his brain. He couldn't take in the words written out before him. For a second he seemed to have lost the ability to read.

The only thing he could understand was "Your mother gone" and "passed away tragically". The world spun for a second and then was roughly thrown back into place, everything frigid and plain, but as there and real as ever, and he raised his cold grey eyes to meet Pansy's. She gasped at the chill in his stare and he raised his hand and in one quick moment struck her hard across the face, sending her stumbling back. She gasped and raised her hand up to her cheek whimpering. "You need to learn to mind your own damn business, twat" He said coldly as people around him gasped. He turned and walked away.

Back in his room he closed the door and leaned against the cold wood to support himself against the numbness of his disbelief. Again he raised the letter up to his face. He walked over to his desk and sat down. He looked down at the letter in his hands and the words slowly became clearer and showed themselves against the sea of black smudges. He let his eyes wash over the letter. Once. Twice. Three times. By the fourth the words had finally sunk in.

Dear Draco,

I am devastated to inform you that your mother has passed away tragically. It happened while you were still away at Hogwarts. She has been buried in the family cemetery. We are all grieving. Do not let this news interfere with your school work, it is tragic but we must move on and beyond this.

Your father, Lucius Malfoy

Draco crushed the Paper in his hands. She was dead. His mother was dead. He slowly made the connections of her being missing to him for the last two weeks he had been at the manor. The fighting that had occurred between her and his father for some time now, becoming very heated recently. He had no doubts as to the death not being an accident and as to who had arranged for this death. The letter didn't even state that it had been an accident. His father didn't bother to hide his involvement, or rather showed it.

He could read right through his father's words and between the lines. It was a warning as well. It clearly said not to get involved, move on, and not to ask questions because his father didn't intend to tell him anything. His mother had gotten in the way, asked too much questions, and much more.

Draco balled his hand into a fist around the letter and raised his fist, slamming it down onto the surface of his desk. He heard the wood crack and look down coldly at it. He raised his hand from the desk, revealing blood and imbedded splinters. He pulled out his wand and fixed the table top, then got up from his chair. He discarded the blood spattered letter and headed towards the infirmary as he wiped away any trace of a tear that had dared to escape the frozen surface of his cold grey eyes.

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**Author's note: **Well it happened, Draco's mom died, and he's all torn and confused about it, as would be expected sorta…Anyway, The magazine makes an appearance in the next chapter, pushing along into obsession…Next chapter coming along soon, Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, please keep them coming while I keep the chapters coming! The story is slowly unfolding. Please R&R, I love to know what the readers think.


	4. insert sucky title here

In the next week Draco's hand was still wrapped in a piece of white cloth as a bandage and he had made it so Pansy whimpered and ran away every time she saw him. He kept her scared enough so that she hadn't told anyone of the contents of the letter.

He didn't know where exactly his mind had been as the week flashed by. As he walked into his dorm room his stomach growled fiercely and he decided he needed to go to dinner today. He dropped his books on his desk and headed on auto pilot towards the great hall where he took a seat near the end of the table.

Picking at his food without much desire to actually eat it, he finally picked up a piece of a bread roll and brought it up to his mouth after his stomach gave a particularly vicious lurch. He chewed the food slowly and let it slide down his throat, not tasting anything really.

Millicent Bulstrode walked late into the Great hall and took a seat next to him. He groaned inwardly, knowing she would try to make him eat more. As she began to set her plate she smiled at him and he showed her a bread roll, dipping it into his plate and then eating it. She nodded and began to eat her dinner as well. "Draco" she began, turning to look at him," Are you alright?" Draco just looked at her and she continued, "I mean your barley ever at meals, that can't be good for your health, your already so thin, and you've been more quiet lately then usual".

Draco just shrugged and took a small bite from his plate. "Draco really if there's anything you need to talk about…" She began. "Look Millicent I'm fine! I'm eating see! Dear lord I'm not a child you have to fawn over so just leave me be!" He suddenly burst out. Then he got up and left the hall without looking back, his emotions all thrown into oblivion and raging.

He hadn't meant to be so mean to her, he thought as he entered his room, but she shouldn't, she should just, leave him alone! Everyone should. He needed to think. He threw himself on his bed and reached under his pillow, pulling something out. He sat up on his bed against the pillows and let his eyes meet with emerald ones, sparkling and looking up at him from a page.

He became a little calmer and breathed deeply, looking into the familiar face. His mind began to wander. He thought of how his mother had tried to help him…He thought of how she had liked Pansy, had tea with her and her mother, wanted Draco to maybe marry her. Draco felt half responsible for her death. He thought about it constantly now. He wanted to find out what happened. He thought he knew a little of what had happened.

Draco's mother hadn't wanted her son to become a death eater, to be a slave to a deranged dark lord. Being Lucius's wife she knew how it was. She knew he wanted his son to become the same. She had been absent from most of Draco's life, choosing to distance herself. But something changed and she began to fight his father on his fate.

He didn't really want that fate too, but only she knew that. Draco knew what rebelling would do for him, would get him. So he stayed silent while his mother rebelled for him. He pulled out the bloody and crumpled letter and read it again, trying to decipher from it as much as he could. He looked into the eyes of the image looking up at him. _He _would not move on and let it pass, _he _would find out what happened, wouldn't take it lying down.

Draco didn't know what he could do about it, but taking courage from the thought of Harry Potter, he decided he couldn't take it lying down either. He wouldn't forget. He pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. He composed a short note to his father expressing his desire to speak to him, and asking for a reply. He stood up and went to Egor, tying the note to his leg and bringing him to the window. He opened it and let the bird fly out into the night.

Draco looked out into the darkness for a little while, then turned and headed back to his bed, not knowing what to do with himself. He picked up the magazine and looked once more at the page it was open to, reading a few paragraphs more for comfort then anything else. Finally closing the magazine he stashed it carefully under his pillows again and got under the covers of his large four poster bed, settling in for a night of very little sleep.

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On Sunday Draco received his reply from his father while writing his Transfiguration's essay. Egor fluttered in through the window and perched on his cage, leg outstretched. Draco slowly got up and headed towards the bird, reaching over and removing the piece of parchment from his leg. He opened it and read it carefully.

Dear Draco,

I received your letter and I am very busy, but I can speak to you tonight at midnight. Be at the fireplace in your dormitory at 12:00 sharp, if you are late then I'll have to depart.

Your father, Lucius Malfoy

Draco let out a breath he had been holding and put the note away. He went back to his desk but instead of continuing with his essay he sat and thought of what he would say to his father and how he would ask what he wanted, knowing he had to have strategically planned questions and replies.

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By 11: 56 he was sitting in front of the fireplace in his dormitory, waiting for his father and reviewing what he planned to say. He had made sure the room was empty, not even needing to give Blaise an excuse. Just forcefully requesting got the boy out of the room and away in a flash. After what had happened with Pansy and the way he had been for the past few days he was known to be feared and dealt with caution for the safe space of a month or so.

As he tried to think of a plan of action a hiss suddenly arose from the already lit fire and then the head of Lucius Malfoy appeared. "Draco" His father said, acknowledging him, "You wished to speak with me?" Draco couldn't reply for a second, at a loss for words as he came more or less face to face with this man he was slowly growing to detest.

"Yes, father, I wished to speak to you about some things, first about Mother" Draco began suddenly. He saw his father's face frown slightly as he asked "I hope you're still not grieving about that dear Draco". "No, I would just like to know a bit more, when did it happen?" He asked, trying to bite back his anger at his father. It had only been a week. One week.

"Oh while you were away, just a few weeks ago" His father replied off-handedly. Draco nodded and said, "How did it happen father?". His father seemed to pause for a moment, then he said "She made some enemies, and some very unwise moves, there was nothing to be done, it wasn't pleasant". Draco just stared at the head of his father, just barley hiding the shock from how much truth his father had divulged to him.

"That, Draco," His father began, "Is why we must be careful in our choices, and our allies. Be glad you and I have already made the right ones". Draco's anger at this drove his mouth to places it shouldn't have dared to go. "Allies who use and betray easily, who would kill…" _My mother_, he had thought, stopping himself. "You and I father? _We _have made the right allies? I do not remember making any allies shared with you".

"Draco" his father began with a warning in his tone, "Watch what you say, son. You know what allies we share, or at least will share, soon enough, with no obstacles in our way". His father's tone then became lighter as he seemed to straighten, his head following the movements of what his body must have been doing. "Now, Draco, What's done is done, I suspect you know more then you would let on, and that you learn from what has come to be." His father paused and gave him a stern, slightly angry look.

"Is there anything else you'd like to discuss now? I must leave soon" He said. "Yes" Draco said, "With recent developments, what are the plans for the holidays that are approaching?". "Ah, well I presume you speak of the ones in December, I'm afraid you must remain at Hogwarts this year" his father replied. "What?" Draco asked in surprise, he had never once been left behind at Hogwarts for a holiday. "Yes, due to recent developments, I will be very, very busy, and the manor will probably be abandoned or in use for other things by that time, so you will have to remain there" his father said, "Now is that all?".

Draco swallowed his anger, nodding his head and replying curtly, "Yes father". "Good" Lucius said, "Goodbye then Draco, keep up with school work". And with that his head had disappeared from the fire place, leaving Draco alone once more in his large dorm room.

Draco's head re-ran the conversation over in his head a few times. He had wanted to go to the manor to visit his mother's grave, but apparently that would not happen so easily. He would find a way. The arrogance and coldness of his father angered him even more then being left behind like some orphan for the winter holidays. The never of the man….of his father… His flesh and blood, and what had once been his roll model, his Idol once.

Well, not entirely honest, he remembered a few more idols in childhood, quidditch masters and great wizards, a certain boy who had held the whole wizarding world in awe…but they had been quickly knocked out of him by his father. Draco didn't know when his father had ceased to be anything but a tyrant. Maybe when he had grown up and formed his own ideas, and gained a better perspective. It had taken a long time apparently.

He recalled his father's little speech about 'allies' and scoffed. He and his father shared no allies. Draco wondered if maybe it would be wise to start making his own allies that held themselves far away from those of his father's...

Draco looked at his bedside clock, the time flashing 1:04. He rubbed at his eyes and thought of how the time could have flown by so fast. He felt slightly empty and lost, once again not knowing what to do with himself, which was an increasingly familiar feeling to him now. He needed to think of something, anything to do…

He needed something to do. To occupy himself with, otherwise he wouldn't know what to do with himself, and was half afraid of what thoughts would occur to him then, or what would happen then. He decided on the nearest thing to him, visiting his mother's grave. He needed a spell. Something to help him get to the Malfoy family Plot. And he needed a plan to get there. He would go to the library…

Yes, that's what he would do, and while there he would study on his extra training. He was to be doing dark arts training, secretly. He was to continue his lessons with his father alone. At the library he could read and study, then go out to the lake or somewhere on the grounds to study…

With his mind busy with plans of action, Draco got into bed, slowly planning out what was left of his weekend, trying to fill it without space to spare. To spare on thinking, on dwelling, on feeling…on anything. He slowly slid into an uneasy sleep.

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**Author's note: **long time since the last update, hopefully I'll be updating a little sooner, but my school is starting up again so the next update might have to wait a bit. Well so far things are just happening and stuff, but pretty soon the path to the slash will start opening up, till next chapter, please R&R!


	5. insert boring title here

The next day, true to his 'plan', Draco headed towards the library. It was near 2 in the afternoon and there weren't many people in the library yet, something Draco was grateful for. He searched the stacks and shelves of books, at first not sure what to look for until he stumbled upon a book on magical transportation. _Well, it's a damn good start_, he thought.

He plucked the heavy book from its shelf and carried back to his table. He had been careful in choosing a far off table by a window. It was at the very end of the library, at a far wall, where he was sure nobody would bother him. He placed the book down on the table and slid himself into a seat.

He pulled out his extra studies text books and did a quick spell to disguise them, knowing he'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble being caught with them. He first opening the transportation book and began to read. After reading a few pages in parts of the book, he thought for a moment, taking notes on a piece of parchment.

Floo-ing would only take him so far. He couldn't risk apparition. A port key wouldn't work, unless he acquired one that was already made, but one of those would be at Malfoy Manor, where he couldn't go… he had decided he couldn't go to the manor at all, so instead he would try and get to the plot. He didn't have any flying beasts or teleporting creatures, and taking a threstal wouldn't work… There were several other small spells listed, but most only took one so far, and tended to not be very far at all.

He read a bit further into it, reading about more spells and beasts, also some potions that seemed too much to bother with. He finally decided that unless he could find one spell to take him straight there, he would have to make a plan of a series of small steps and spells. As he thought it over his gaze wandered over to the window. The view overlooked a part of the ocean surrounding some of the grounds and the sun's reflections made the water glitter in an interesting and attractive way.

That brought his thoughts to muggle transportation. But he didn't want to take something like that. Nor did he think he could. So far the best course of action was to floo somewhere close to the Plot, then spell his way onward to it, or something near that. There was still more to be decided on that, but he stopped and pulled up one if his text books, opening it to were he had left off, which was about halfway through the heavy book.

He read the list of spells his father had wanted him to practice and thought he could manage on his own and at the school. He went on to read about them and practice a few hand movements, being careful not to utter the words to the spell. He took down a few notes and kept reading.

At about 3 in the afternoon he decided it was time to find a secluded place to practice. He re-read his notes on the spells. A torching spell and its counter spell, a different version of the torching spell, for that he would need some piece of vegetation, a few attacks and defense spells, and a few torture spells. He would need some type of animal for the last few spells.

He gathered up his things and checked out the book on transportation, pretending not to notice the other students that had settled around in the library. He turned and sneered as he saw granger looking at him, then quickly turned and headed out the door and towards the grounds.

Once outside he at first headed towards the lake, but then saw the weasel and a few of his friends there. His stomach gave a slight leap as he quickly scanned the area for Potter, but the boy wasn't there and he took a turn to the left, heading into the forest that bordered the lake and the much thicker area of the forbidden forest.

After treading a few feet through branches and after moving a little deeper into the woods, he found a spot that was slightly less dense then the area's surrounding it. He finally chose to settle on a spot of grass next to a semi-tall tree. He dropped his bag down against the tree and pulled out his notes, then cast a spell to check if there was anyone around within a certain radius. The spot was clear.

He looked around and took in the fresh air and the smell of dirt and leaves. It was a sunny day, not cold but not too hot, almost just right, if there was a right. A bird chirped overhead and he listened for a second before wincing as the thought of what he would have to do to some creature came to him.

Deciding to stop stalling and get to work, Draco pulled out his wand and took a defense stance, practicing a few defense spells, then attack spells. He only did a few of these, knowing he could them in private later. He read over what he needed to practice there, and began to recite the charm for the torching spell to himself.

He pointed his wand at a small weed on the ground and called out the charm. The plant burst into flames and Draco called out the extinguishing charm, bathing the flower in a white smog for a second, leaving a charred weed crumbling to the ground.

He then recited the spell to the second version, pointing the wand at a different weed. It immediately caught fire, but this time the flame was of a lighter hue, and as he muttered the extinguishing charm, the fire was banished but the weed was left unharmed. He could guess the useful aspects of this charm, but could also think of some horrid ones, which he would rather not think about.

After practicing a few more times, he let out a deep breath and decided he needed now to find a test subject. Preferring the term test subject, he went searching his surroundings for one. He spotted a small green caterpillar with yellow spots crawling across a leaf, and not finding anything else, regretfully picked up the caterpillar and took it over to his bag, placing it on a text book.

He read again the names of the 4 curses he needed to do. He pointed his wand at the thing, which had begun to crawl forward across the surface of the book. He hesitated for a second before steeling himself and saying the words to the charm. The caterpillar suddenly began to twitch and roll and Draco winced, dropping the spell.

Angry with himself for his weakness, he pointed the wand and firmly said the words to a second spell, sending the caterpillar curling in unnatural ways, making a pathetic scuttling sound against the hard surface of the book. Suddenly it stopped squirming and went limp. "Damn it!" He cursed, his eyes beginning to water. Angry at himself, he shot another curse at the caterpillar. It had died and that caused the spell to malfunction, instead splitting the pathetic form of the creature in two.

The spell had apparently been too much for the small insect and its heart had either burst or just stopped and it had died.

Draco yelled and shot a spell at the caterpillar, sending it flying into bushes. He wiped at his eyes angrily. _It was just a stupid caterpillar, a ridiculous little creature with no purpose_, he thought. _Imagine if I have to use it on another person, then what? Will I betray myself and cry like an idiot?_

_But it was innocent, an innocent, harmless creature, just trying to live, _a soft and quiet voice whispered in his head. _And if you were forced to use these on another human being, would they not be as innocent? _He considered these thoughts, and another voice came, an angrier one this time, _if you're so against your father, if you don't really share those allies, why are you still following his orders? Why are you still training for_- No! Draco yelled mentally, cutting short the voice.

He just wanted to concentrate right now, just concentrate, and he didn't want to think of the sense the voice made. He would later. Maybe he should just stop now. He needed to learn this though. Or maybe he could learn something else, study something else...something to fight against his father…against those allies…defense against the dark arts, maybe…

A rustle in the trees above him thankfully broke him out of his thoughts and his head shot up, his eyes focusing with a seeker's skill on what had made the disturbance. A chestnut colored creature darted overhead, running gracefully across thin branches. It was a small squirrel, he noted. With rushed thoughts he quickly raised his wand as the squirrel made to jump from one branch to another and cast a stupefying spell, then levitated the animal towards him.

He tried not to think as he set a spell so that the animal was trapped where he placed it on the floor. He didn't want to do what he was about to do. He muttered another of the spells on the list and watched as the skin of the animal began to stretch around it in horrific ways, drawing unpleasant noises from the animal. At first it just grunted in surprise, and Draco lifted the spell and sent another one.

At this one the creature began to shriek as its bones twisted beneath its skin, and at the third one blood began to pour from its mouth, ears, and nose. Draco could barley watch and he began to turn away when a noise startled him and he was roughly pushed onto the ground by something. He looked up and found the weasel's now red face looking down at him twisted in anger. He noticed granger standing nearby, face pale, and he saw the squirrel twitch on the ground where it laid, all spells lifted.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Weasley yelled, anger making his words grind out slow and loud. Draco sat there for a second looking up at the angry redhead, but when the other boy moved to attack him he quickly rose and stood his ground, steeling himself. "What did you do to that poor animal!" Granger shrieked.

"None of your damn business" Draco replied coldly. She looked at Weasley with a horrified expression as the creature continued to twitch, the fur near its face bloody. Draco saw her gaze fall on it again and the horror of what he'd done violently shook him again, he hastily ran to it, picking it up in his robes. He rushed over to his things and grabbed his bags and made to leave when Weasley stopped him and brought a first crashing into his face.

Draco was forced to step back a few steps, but held his balance and glared coldly at the weasel. He felt the animal twitch in his arms, some blood seeping into his robes. He turned and began to head towards the castle when granger's gaze caught his eyes. He couldn't keep his face neutral at the horrified way she was looking at him and he felt his eyes begin to water again.

_What is wrong with you! _A voice in his head called out urgently, _keep it together!_ He grimaced and felt shame burning inside him as he rushed past her. When he had grabbed the animal up first he didn't know what he intended to do but now as he rushed up to the castle he stopped and got behind a few trees, stooping low and gently placing the animal down, taking off his robes to lay it on.

He took out his wand, panicking slightly as he looked at the pathetic form of the still shuddering creature. He cast a quick spell to clean its fur and began racking his mind for healing spells. He had never learnt any healing spells for animals, just humans, and he wasn't sure if it would work the same, cause damage, or not work at all.

Looking again at the poor creature he aimed his wand and carefully sent a few healing spells through the small shuddering body. The look on Granger's face and the shuddering of the animal were still flashing through his mind, the shock of being caught making him realize exactly what he had done, and seeing the horror in it. He wondered if they would go to the headmaster, what would happen to him, what Granger would think of him, what Potter would think of him.

He told himself he didn't care; he just wanted to fix what he'd done. As the last of the spells faded, Draco looked hopelessly on the body, praying it would work. But the body lay still, not moving or even seeming to breathe. Draco's head dropped and he looked pitifully at the body. "I'm sorry..."He whispered.

The sound of his own voice broke him out of his panicked state. "Damn it!" he exclaimed, and stood up, turning and running away from the scene, only slowing down to a walk once he was inside the castle walls. He didn't look back, but if he had he would have seen the squirrel suddenly open its eyes and spring to life, scurrying away, or the bushy haired girl that had been quietly watching the scene.

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**author's note: **well, I was going to write more but I got a little blocked, so I decided to just update from there, hope you guys enjoy, and thanks for all the new reviews! More soon, please R&R because I'm greedy and just can't get enough reviews


	6. Chapter 6

Draco slammed the door to his dorm room open, finding Blaise and another 6th year chatting on a bed. He glared at the boys and they immediately picked up and left the room. Draco let out a sigh and sat shakily on his bed, putting his head in his hands, fingers entwining in his silver-blonde hair.

After a few moments he looked around and realized his cloak was missing and he had some blood on his shirt. He quickly threw his clothes off and stepped into a scalding hot shower. _Drastic temperature change, calms one down _he thought shakily. He leaned his head into the water, letting it burn over his back and through his hair, pushing the damp blonde strands into his face.

His stomach suddenly gave an awful lurch and he snatched his hand from where it had been bracing him against the wall, wrapping it tightly around his pale middle. A dull ache spread and bubbled inside his middle for a few moments as he stood bent over trying to block out the pain. His head began to swim and he shook it, groaning as the feeling was made worse.

The pain slowly subsided and he was left there bent over, the scalding water drumming down across his back. He turned off the shower and stepped out, grabbing a towel and throwing it over the sink. He looked into the mirror through his curtain of damp blond locks, gasping at the feeling of the cold air bombarding his body. There were angry red flushes across his shoulders and neck, and as he turned he noticed most of his back was tinged an angry red color as well.

He sighed and began rubbing the towel across himself, drying his hair roughly with it and then wrapping it around his waist. He exited the bathroom, steam curling up towards the ceiling behind him from the doorway. He quickly dressed and threw himself on his bed, trying not to think. The incident outside broke into his mind and he felt a rush of shame for a second.

Trying to keep himself busy had worked for a little while, but it wasn't working anymore. He felt…different now. Like he was being forced to take a good hard look at himself. He wasn't exactly liking what he saw…pain started shooting through his stomach again and he groaned, clutching at it. He needed to get out of there…

He threw some cloths on and grabbed the invisibility cloak his great uncle had recently given to him and threw that on too. He sneaked out of the room and through the common room, sneering openly at the slytherins lazing around and discussing trivial and pointless matters.

Once out of the common room he wandered around aimlessly, killing time until it was full dark, the time when the library would be the least occupied. Invisibility cloak still wrapped around him, he went towards the library. To his satisfaction he found the place quite deserted upon his entrance, with just a few students dozing on books here and there.

He turned and headed to the many rows of book shelves, quickly losing himself in the maze. He went off looking for more books on transportation, but the gleam of letters caught his eye. He turned and ran his fingers along the spine of a new book, reading the title. It was an advanced DADA book…

He plucked it from the shelf and kept wandering through the stacks, finally finding a transportation book and settling in at a desk in the back. He began to flip through the transportation book, but after a short while he abandoned it for the DADA book. It was a short book, to him at least, but it looked pretty interesting…

He went through the book quickly, realizing that he knew at least half the stuff in there, he just never used it. He needed a more helpful book…He got up with the cloak still wrapped around himself and headed towards a place he had only been a few times before, most in the time that he had had the cloak. He carefully entered the restricted section and scanned the spines of the books, looking for a DADA book that would actually help him. Something with counter curses maybe…

The search began slow, but he finally passed a book that caught his attention. He pulled it out carefully, alert for any strange qualities the book might possess. He was a bit jumpy since he had opened a screaming book on one of his first times in the restricted section. The book appeared to be safe and normal so far. It was a heavy book, its cover in a strange half black, half white pattern. He carefully opened it to the first few pages and scanned through them.

Apparently the book held both dark magic and light magic, the worst and the best, etc. He flipped through a few more pages and found what he had been looking for. A list of chapters on countering dark magic. A small smile spread across his face and he closed the book, slipping it under his cloak and exiting the restricted section. As he was passing through the advanced spells section, another title caught his eye. "Advanced spells for the Human body, a medical book". After a moments thought, he plucked it off its shelf and continued on his way to his desk.

He began to flip through the black and white magic book to see if it held anything of real interest. To his pleasure he found that half of it was relevant, and that he wanted to read more. He pulled out a piece of parchment from his pocket and a pen and began noting down the chapters and pages he needed to check out. Once almost done he put down the pen and twisted his hand, trying to relive it of the pain from writing. The other book he had picked up caught his eye.

He slid it closer to him and opened it, flipping to the list of contents. He scanned the list and flipped the book to the page he wanted, skimming it until he found the spells he wanted. He read through the list of vision correcting spells and carefully thought over each one before selecting two and writing their names and pages on the piece of parchment. One was a sort of contacts spell, an alternative to glasses, and the other was a complete correction spell that had to be re-done every 6 months.

He preferred the last spell. He read through a few more spells and then closed the book, writing the name of it on the parchment as well and then got up to put it back where he had found it. Draco looked around him, his eyes sore and black spots bubbling in his vision, he noticed no one was in the library anymore, it had become after hours and the librarian was gone. Deciding it was time to leave; he picked up the black and white book and opened it. Picking up the piece of parchment with the listed chapters and pages on it, he placed it inside the book and flicked his wand at it, muttering a long spell.

A thick wad of parchment appeared and began copying half of the chosen pages of the book in small neat black print across itself. He knew better then to try and take the restricted book out of the library without permission and after hours. He flipped through the freshly copied pages and then threw his invisibility cloak on. He got up and replaced the book, then sneaked off back to his dorm, intending to come back the later for the other half, or maybe for the book itself.

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**author's note: **its been forever since i updated with school and no computer and such, i hope people are still reading this. Well i had to cut this chapter short but hopefully a new longer one with more dialogue is coming next. enjoy! plz R & R, suggestions are welcome! 


	7. The encounter outside the kitchens

The next day was classes once again and Draco headed late to arithmancy, making it about 5 minutes late. All the students were already sitting at their chosen desks and writing on their pieces of parchment, text books out and open. Draco noticed with a sinking feeling that once again the only empty seat was next to Granger.

He did not feel like being interrogated this early on such an empty stomach, or so he told himself as he avoided her eyes and sat down as far away from her as possible while still within the perimeter of the desk they shared. He kept his eyes glued to the wooden surface of the desk as he pulled out his quill and a piece of parchment and opened his text book.

Quickly he busied himself with the assignment, trying to block out everything else, but it was difficult. The thought of what Granger had seen kept sneaking into his head and it made him blush with shame and maybe want to cry if he was to be honest, but he kept his face blank and kept writing. After a few moments he noticed Granger was staring at him.

Her quill was lying besides her parchment, her assignment completed. She was observing him intently and it was driving him crazy, his hand holding the quill began to shake. Finally He scrawled the rest of his assignment out quickly and dropped the quill. Voices were beginning to speak in his head, louder and louder like drums beating, accusingly, and he wondered what the hell was wrong with him. He couldn't take it…Very distantly he heard the girl next to him whisper cautiously, "Malfoy…are you alright?"

He grasped in his mind for something, anything, to act as a lifeboat as he was drowning in the chorus of voices and whatever it was that was making his hand continue shaking under Grangers hidden observation. Suddenly he grasped at an image and pulled with all his force, and the voices stopped as he saw a pair of bright green eyes in his head, no longer be speckled but free to shine almost impossibly, eyes of a color and shade he could not forget and just could not get out of his thoughts.

His hand stilled and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a neatly folded piece of parchment. He reached over and placed it in front of Granger, and with great relief he felt her gaze finally slide off of him, now directing itself on the note. He felt his insides squirm a little as he thought of how she would open the note, read the contents, and go look up the book and page number in the library to check the spell. She would then go to Harry with the spell, and they could use it…

The thought made him feel a little better, that he would be the reason those green eyes would not be hidden, one good thing at least that he could contribute to teh wizarding world. Hefeltlike his head was clear, which was a feeling he missed lately. He was pulled for a moment out of the whirling torrent of his mind. He thought over her earlier question and wondered what she would have said if he had said no. No he wasn't. Would she care? Would it matter? Most likely she'd be spooked and not say anymore.

Just as she turned to him to ask about the parchment the class was dismissed and once again he was saved by the Hogwarts Schedule, always excusing him at just the right moment. He turned and looked at her and the fact that his face held no malice or sneer seemed to surprise her just as much as the note he'd given her. His eyes were clear and his face blank over a hidden anxiousness, her mouth was already working on pushing something out to him, most likely an inquiry on the note, the spell, his reasons, and she was holding it out in her hand, but before she could say a word he turned quickly and left.

In the hallway he nearly bumped into Blaise Zabini who Turned and exclaimed "Draco, there you are! Quidditch practice now remember? Everyone's almost there waiting for you; I know it's weird how early it is right? I mean, with free periods and all this year, it's pretty great actually, we don't have to go into our free time for practice…" the boy continued to rant as they walked down the Hallway toward the entrance hall to the quiditch pitch. Draco just followed him, tuning out to whatever the boy was saying and noticing the tinge of nervousness in his voice.

The rest of the players must have sent him to fetch Draco, and the rant was not only due to the fact that Blaise was just extremely obnoxious, but because he was nervous to be pulling Draco to the pitch. The Blonde rolled his eyes and kept walking.

When they broke out onto the pitch the bright sunlight blared in his eyes and made him feel slightly dizzy. They reached the group of Slytherins in quiditch uniforms all looking anxiously at them, shuffling their feet on the moist emerald shaded grass. Draco spared them half a glance and went quickly to get changed. Once he was ready and had his broom out the practice started swiftly.

He climbed onto his new firebolt and rose gracefully into the sky and their practice game began. After a few short minutes he had spotted the snitch flying near their chaser's ear. Just as he made the dive toward it a bludger began to hurtle toward him and he had to race to dodge it. The quick movement made everything momentarily go black and he heard a scream from behind him and some yelling.

He hoped it was not for him and he panicked, trying to get control of his vision while bile rose in his throat, But as he landed with a thud and regained his vision, He turned and saw what the commotion was about. The bludger that had missed him had hit one of their chaser's square in the head and blood was flowing alarmingly fast onto the grass, turning it to a dark muddy color as it pooled.

Half the team rushed to get the injured player to the hospital wing and the captain and Zabini came up to Draco, both watching the bleeding player being carried away. The captain shook his head sadly and Blaise snorted, "Can you believe it? By one of our own players…Those beaters are almost thicker then Crabb and Goyle were…" he said. "Now where am I going to get a new Chaser?" The captain, a tall Blonde seventh year said.

"Try Millicent Bulstrode" Draco said offhandedly as he headed to the locker room to change. The over exertion had not had a pleasant effect on Draco and he put it off as just that, the cause being exhaustion, though he knew better. He took the opportunity to get out of the practice early and go back to his Dorm seeing as the afternoon was clear of classes.

Once there he threw himself on his large bed and pulled out his bag where he had stored the thick stack of parchment copied form the book. He pulled out a quill and his DADA book, then reached under his pillow and pulled out the magazine, hiding it underneath all his materials but making sure that he could still see most of the face displayed on the cover and the unforgettable green of the eyes.

He began to go through the pages, writing down the spells he wanted to practice the most and reading them. He found a curse that slowed the effects of poisoning, a spell to detect the presence of hidden others within a certain radius of the caster, a shield spell for more then 4 people, though that one took a lot of power, and various other anti-dark arts spells. He found the patronus, which he was still learning, a project he had set out on his own for a short time ago. His had already begun to form the shape of some big four legged animal, but didn't yet have distinct details.

He also needed to practice another powerful spell, similar to the patronus. But for that he needed the room of requirement, seeing as the spell was a heavily dark spell. He made a note in his mind to make a trip to the room of requirement later to correctly practice these spells.

After a while he rubbed his eyes with his hands, feeling their tired surface and seeing black spots. He needed a break, and was extremely surprised to see that it was already dark, past 8 in fact. He quickly got up and put his things in his bag, knowing that if he wanted to reach the library as he had planned he had to get there fast. The library would be closed at 8:30.

Once he had everything he headed out of the dorm quickly and out of the common room, making the journey from the dungeons to the library walking rapidly, having to stop occasionally to catch his breath. He glanced at a clock on the wall and saw that it was 5 minutes to 8:30 and he was only halfway there. He began to sprint now, knowing that he could go there tomorrow but for some reason desperate to get there on time anyway, and get it today.

He came to a skidding stop at the end of the hallway and into a large hall opening up into 4 other directions. As he was about to head forward to the library his stomach gave an angry lurch and rumble and a salty taste began to spread through his mouth. He knew he would not make it to the library in time, and as his vision began to blur. He took a sharp left and began to walk fast down that hallway. As his vision was beginning to go black he reached the portrait with the pear he needed to tickle, but as he was about to reach up to do it his hand knocked into something hard, though in front of him there was just air. He barley registered it as suddenly a rush of dizziness forced him to sit down.

He was painfully aware of missing all his meals that day and the day before, the full effect only hitting him now. As he tried to get up his vision swam once again, all the blood draining from his face this time, leaving it cold. And before he could take more then one step he was forced to sit again and almost lost his balance in doing so. He let out a helpless noise like a whimper or a moan and braced his hands on the cold tile beneath him, his hair falling over his face. He clenched his eyes tightly trying to keep consciousness.

A sudden disturbance in the air in front of him startled him as he clutched tightly at his stomach, wondering how badly his eye sight was fucking up as the very fabric of the air began to rustle and stretch. Out of the thin air the figure of a person appeared, and the sight of blazing emerald eyes told him exactly and unmistakably who it was as the person bent forward to help him with an exclamation of surprise and worry.

Draco himself let out an exclamation of surprise as the figure pulled him to his feet and tried to steady him, but once again his body failed him and his vision swam. Eyes registering almost nothing, he tried to take a step and tripped, clenching his eyes tightly and closing them and falling forward into arms that quickly encircled him and tried to hold him and steady him.

When things began to fall back in place he opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Bright green uncovered eyes, nose almost touching the nose of his rescuer, Harry Potter. His Stomach gave a leap completely separate from the trouble it had been enduring. He felt as if it had tied into a not near the bottom, trapping something hot and boiling at it's floor, as the result of being suddenly so close to Potter.

Through the quickly clearing haze of pain he could feel their chests touching and his heart was racing, he wondered if Harry could feel the alarming rate of his heartbeat against the boy's chest. In the stillness his head cleared, but he knew that if he began moving again he would start slipping, close to passing out again. This wasn't the first time this had happened to him.

"Malfoy! What's wrong?" Harry Potter asked with a strong tinge of worry and panic in his voice. Was Harry Potter worried about Draco Malfoy? He wondered to himself vaguely. The blasted hero was here to save him…he would be another victim of Potter's hero complex, he though almost aridly, but slightly bitterly at the last part. The closeness of their accidental position was still blurring Draco's thoughts slightly and he slowly became aware of a diffrent feeling spreading along his stomach, making him blush slightly.

"MALFOY!" Harry yelled "Can you hear me?" Draco pulled out of his thoughts quickly andnodded his head, his loose blond hair fluttering across his cheeks with the movement. "Fuck your pale…" he began. "I need to get to the kitchen…need something in my stomach" Draco muttered, pressing his head into Harry's shoulder, knowing this would probably be the only opportunity he'd ever get to do that.

"Okay, Okay" Harry began, unconsciously placing a hand on Draco's head, feeling the sweat that had collected at the front of his silvery hair. "Let's get in there then" Harry said, beginning to shift to get closer to the pear. "Wait!" Draco exclaimed suddenly in helplessness. He griped Harry's shoulder tightly and said "Just, get something, anything, and bring it to me, I can't…"He trailed off, choosing not to finish his sentence. Harry nodded and slowly lowered Draco down on the floor, leaning him against the wall.

He gave the slumped figure of the blonde boy one last look before tickling the pear and heading through the opening portrait into the kitchens. Draco Ran his hand shakily through his hair, hating himself for this. His stomach rumbled, and he knew this dangerous habit of forgetting to eat had to stop. After nearly fainting the first time it should have stopped. He couldn't even fucking feed himself well enough to keep his body running for Merlin's sake!

One of his feet slid forward on the tile a little and bumped into some sort of material, causing a rustling noise. He realized it was an invisibility cloak, Harry's invisibility cloak. He reached out with one hand to run his hand over the material, running it's silkiness through his fingers.

He heard the portrait push open wider and then fall closed. Footsteps beat on the tile beside him and then a figure stooped before him. Harry handed the slumped over blonde boy a large sandwich and sat down in front of him, holding another in his hands. Draco took it quickly and began stuffing as much of it in his mouth as possible while trying to eat gracefully, barley registering the sharp taste of cheese and banana.

When it had disappeared from his hands he finally looked up into the face hovering uncertainly before his. The Emerald green eyes held a worried look in them and Draco noticed with much pleasure that the normal barrier of glass wasn't there, and it made him feel slightly better that it was because of his research and his spell, that much he could assume.

Draco reached out for the next sandwich and ate this one slower and less sloppily, trying to avoid looking into the bright orbs observing him intensely, but at the same time unable to look away for more then seconds at a time. Finally when he had finished eating Harry broke the silence and spoke. "Draco, what just happened?"

Draco's molten grey eyes were drawn quickly back to Harry's attentive ones as he heard his first name being uttered from unexpected lips and his heart leaped into his throat for a split second. "Um…"Draco began, casting his gaze to the shining tan patterns of the tiled floor. "Just…over exertion, that's all…needed some energy, I was running...", "Then why did you need food so badly?" Harry asked skeptically.

Draco's bite suddenly returned with his sense of reality, and he retorted sharply "It's not really any of your business", though it came out with less conviction then he would have liked. Harry stood up and dusted the crumbs off his hands and Draco instantly regretted saying what he had said now that it looked like Harry was leaving, and for some reason he desperately wanted him to stay.

Unexpectedly, the dark haired boy reached out a hand and said "Are you okay to get up now?" Draco looked up and said "I think so", with that he reached out timidly and then grasped the hand that was offered to him. The warm contact sent a feeling of surprising warmth and comfort through Draco as he was pulled up and onto his feet, and then the contact was broken and things were cold and awkward again.

"Are you sure you're okay now?" Harry asked. Draco hesitated and then said "Ya, better now". Then once again reality began to impose itself on him and on the scene in the warmly lighted hallway where for a short while defenses had been lowered and barriers dropped. "I have to go…" Draco said quickly, then thinking that he didn't even need to give warning really… "Ya, me too" Harry began, turning to pick up his invisibility cloak, "But I should walk you, just incase", but as he turned, Draco was already turning the corner out of the hallway quickly heading back to his dorm.

* * *

**authors note:**I´ve fixed this chapter so that draco isnt going to check ou the book this day, but the next, seeing as he gets the pass he mentioned in the old chapter, in the chapter 8. Woops. 


	8. we meet again

The next day Draco got up from bed barely remembering how he had managed to stumble to his dorm room and into the bed in the first place, with the events before somewhat blurry in his mind but still pretty clear. He dimly thought "an invisibility cloak…like mine...I guess that explains a bit..." as he sat up amidst the strewn emerald colored bed sheets and comforter.

His hand hit the side of something thing thin and hard and he felt around for it. His palm fell onto a cold glossy surface poking out from beneath his pillows and he suddenly felt his face flush with embarrassment and shame and many other things. He let his hair fall in his face to cover the heat in his cheeks, hand still pressed against the magazine, images of green coming into his mind. This time they were of green eyes unmarred by thick glasses, real eyes instead of glossy eyes printed on paper, just a ghost of the originals.

He pulled his hand away and pushed himself out of bed, pushing every one of those thoughts away as well, trying to leave them on the bed and under the pillows. He made himself presentable and headed down for breakfast, knowing he had to eat, knowing he could NOT have another episode like the one he had had the previous night, in front of Harry potter no less.

He headed down the cold corridors, completely off in his own when Millicent came bounding up to him. She gave him a very unexpected hug and Draco just stood there awkwardly, half accepting it but not making any movements to return it. When she finally released him he gave her an odd questioning look and she returned it with a big smile. "I'm on the team!" She exclaimed, "I'm replacing our injured chaser, and it's thanks to you". She beamed at him. "Erm, your welcome…" he said awkwardly, not used to the kind of affection she was showing.

A thought struck him and he tugged at her sleeve awkwardly to get her attention. He cleared his throat slightly and began, "Millicent…I'm sorry for the way I've snapped at you in the last few weeks..." Before he could continue she replied "Oh that's alright Draco, thank you for the apology though". Her face read as if she knew all along he would apologize and he crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly.

She grabbed his arm and said "Well let's go to breakfast, I'm starved", ruining his stubborn stance. Together they headed into the great hall and toward the Slytherin table and into a pair of empty seats. Without waiting to be pushed into it Draco began slowly ushering small amounts of food onto his plate as Millicent added more generous amounts to hers next to him.

He pushed the food around on his plate for a while, reluctant to eat. He slowly put his fork through a piece of a pancake and brought it to his mouth, chewing it slowly, knowing he had to take it slow or queasiness was sure to follow. He was expecting some bit of nausea either way, but knew it would be less if he started out slow.

"So what's your first class today Draco?" Millicent asked beside him. "Um, Charms" Draco replied. "Okay, I can walk you; I have care of magical creatures first". He nodded and looked back down at his plate. Silence followed and he glanced back up at her and noticed she was trying to stare very subtly at the Gryffindor table. He followed her gaze and found a Pair of green eyes staring back at him, it was too far away to really tell but the gaze looked concerned. Draco almost choked on his bit of pancake and quickly lowered his head back to his plate.

He shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth and began getting up to leave when Millicent took hold of his arm. "Wait, I'm almost done, I'll walk you" she began, but Draco gently pulled himself away and gave her a quickly thought up excuse. "Sorry I just realized I forgot my Charms book and assignment back in my room". He was about to rush away but turned and quickly added "I'll see you in potions" with a small smile, and rushed off, suddenly feeling a great need to leave the common room.

He only took a second to contemplate why he felt the need to be nice Millicent when he didn't have to, but wrote it off as unimportant as he exited the great hall, the door's swinging shut behind him. He slowed his step and headed towards charms. "Hey Draco!" someone called out from behind him. He kept walking for a second as the voice registered in his mind and then a tingling feeling rushed from his stomach into his legs, making him stop and turn slightly as a dark haired boy walked quickly toward him.

This was getting to be way too many run ins with Potter in one week, he thought, but without much conviction. "Hey" the dark haired boy puffed out as he caught up to Draco. "I, uh" he began, seeming to have forgotten why he had stopped the blonde boy in the first place. "Thanks for the Charm" he said feebly. "You know, the one you gave to Hermione, it's really…convenient' he finished. "Um, your welcome" Draco replied, getting the feeling that that wasn't really why he had come after him, but letting the thought go quickly, to weary to explore it.

"Yeah" Harry said, as an uncomfortable silence stretched and both boys stood there awkwardly. Just as it looked like Potter was turning to leave, something grasped at Draco's mind and he said "Thanks!" Potter turned to him uncertainly and Draco cleared his throat and said "Thanks, for helping me out yesterday…" Harry gave him an uncertain smile and said "Oh, ya, are you…?" "Ya I'm fine" Draco finished for him, completely lost at how to act and what to say in this conversation. "Well I have to head to charms now" Draco said and turned to leave, trying not to look back as he turned the corner out of the hall.

As he headed towards the Charms classroom he noticed he was going the wrong way and mentally slapped himself. He turned and headed back to the entrance to the great hall, finding it empty, a slight disappointment, though he didn't know what he expected. He then turned right and headed up a corridor and to a staircase in the correct direction to the charms classroom. He opened the door and chose a seat near a window as the rest of the class let themselves in and Class began.

Professor Flitwick gave out an assignment and Draco got started on it, thinking that the drab assignment and the feel of the dry parchment clashed well with the thrill of the cold and the September rain falling outside the windows across the grounds. He noticed that October was coming very soon. The scratching of the quills on parchment around him an the low chatting added to the sound of the rain hitting the windows soon brought his thoughts away from his assignment and to his encounter that morning.

He felt slightly embarrassed as he thought about it, his sudden and awkward exit and the short sentences in the "conversation". He realized Potter had wanted to ask more about how he felt then to thank him, but brushed the thought away with the question of 'why the hell would he care?'. Even with that thought, a strange feeling rose in his stomach at the thought. He tried to brush it all away but it was so many new things to him. He wasn't used to feeling awkward or embarrassed, or even content. Was he content? He wasn't sure…

He might be, almost, but then his thoughts wandered to his mother, to his father. His face hardened and he thought of the next Hogsmead weekend, the first weekend of October. That was when he'd go to the family plot. In the back of his head he thought that maybe after that he could actually be content, after he had cut himself away from his family, dealt with them. He realized that was what he actually wanted to do. Cut himself away.

He thought about what his self 2 years ago would have said to these thoughts, but then noticed he really didn't give a damn. These were some very new developments, he thought awkwardly. Maybe he could be content after that…The image of emerald eyes appeared once again and he didn't want to contemplate that, or how that image was now slightly haunting him.

He tried to get back to work on his almost completed assignment and thankfully finished it as the class ended. When the class was over he headed to double potions, knowing that after that he had double ancient ruins with Granger. He got to potions and grabbed a seat next to Millicent. He tried not to notice as Harry and Granger filed in and pretended not to notice Millicent noticing Ron file in behind them.

The assignment was an easy one and Draco had some "extra curricular" studying to do, so he quickly lost himself in the potion, trying to complete it was fast as possible, and ending up completing it perfectly with the help of Millicent. He pulled out the parchment that contained the half copied book and began to read as Millicent began some assignment or other.

As potions drew to an end Draco headed to Snape's desk and turned in his potions early, taking the moment when the other students were finishing up to take the Potions master aside. "Professor?" He began, stepping to the side of the desk as Snape turned to him, his back half turned to the class. "Yes, Mister Malfoy?" he asked in his drawling voice. "I've become quite interested in a subject as of late, defense against the Dark arts, one of your favorites actually, and I wanted to do some extra reading on it, but the book I've been recommended is in the restricted section I'm afraid, and I know you of all the teachers would appreciate this thirst for knowledge the most, and I was thinking perhaps you would write me a pass for the book?" Draco explained carefully.

"I always wish to help those looking to further educate themselves in this place, tell me of this book you want and I'll see what I can do" Snape replied, eyeing the boy and hoping his request wasn't for some dark arts book. "I don't know the name, it's escaped me" Draco began, "But it has a half black and half white cover, and is quite thick, maybe you know it?" "Ah yes, The book of the Grey teachings, I know it, and I am happy to say I can write you a permission slip for that book" Snape replied, tone not betraying the relief he felt at the book the boy wanted, though it still held some dark spells, but the knowledge of how to do them was looked under spell inside the book, the spell known only to teachers.

Snape pulled out a piece of parchment and scrawled out a quick permission slip in his neat hand and handed it to Draco. "You will only be allowed the book one week Mister Malfoy, the book is often used in Defense against the Dark arts here for the higher years" He warned. "Thank you Professor" Draco replied, taking the slip and heading back to his desk to collect his things as most of the students were turning in their potions.

As he finished placing his things in his bag he turned to look at the table where Potter and his friends were sitting at before. Harry was still there, finishing something in a hurry while Granger was putting things away. He stood there for a moment almost flat out staring at him but unable to turn away until the usually oblivious boy turned his emerald gaze from his desk to Draco. Feeling a bit like a deer in headlights for a second Draco returned the gaze, his own gaze completely open and without barrier for a moment. Then he quickly regained his barriers and turned his head slowly away, picked up his bag, and headed for the door and then to his next class, where he found a seat thankfully far away from Granger.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

After ancient ruins he felt his stomach growl in a warning and he remembered with a slight guilty feeling how he had skipped lunch that afternoon in favor of finishing an ancient ruins paper. He decided to make a quick stop to the library on his way to dinner and walked through the double doors and straight to Madam Pince's desk where it took him a few attempts at clearing his throat to get her attention.

She looked up at him warily from her open books and raised a steel grey eyebrow at him as if to say 'Well?'

He gave a slight cough and said "Yes, um, I'd like to check out The Book of the Grey Teachings from the restricted section" He stated, feeling a little uncomfortable. He always felt slightly uneasy when under the old librarians gaze, not in a threatened way but in more of an alarmed way. She seemed to pay him more attention then most students, maybe because he was there so often.

"Do you have a permission slip for this book?" She asked him in her rough but quiet voice. Draco handed her the piece of parchment Snape had given him and she examined it for a moment, then walked off to retrieve the book, saying "Wait one moment," to him as she passed him.

She came back carefully cradling the black and white book in her arms and handed it to him cautiously. She wrote down his name and the name of the book in her log and glanced at him once more before going back to her books, apparently satisfied that he was a student she need not worry about abusing the books.

He carefully stowed the book in his bag and headed towards the great hall for dinner, obeying his stomach's wishes at last. He sat down and helped himself to a small plate of food that for him was much larger then what he was accustomed to and surprised himself by eating all of it. Before he could have another run in with an unnamed Gryffindor he excused himself from the table, grabbing a pastry as a second thought and taking it with him as he exited the great hall.

Draco made his way back to the common room then to his dorm, taking the book from his bag and placing it on his bed. After getting dressed in his silk pajama pants and a black t-shirt he settled onto his bed. He had intended to start studying from it right away but for the moment he could only stare at it and not will himself to pick it up. Finally he decided to put it away and pull out a Muggle novel instead, but after 150 pages or so of that he realized he was feeling restless.

Zabini had come in and gone to bed apparently in exhaustion about 30 minutes ago and there was no one else to see his absence, so he grabbed his invisibility cloak and exited the dorm. In the common room a student was asleep with a book in her lap in front of the slowly dying fire and another student was hard at work on a roll of parchments with two open books at his side.

The Common room had an eerie stone glow to it with the only light and warmth coming from the waning fire, an emerald glow. Draco slipped out unnoticed and undisturbed. Once outside he began walking through the halls of the dungeons and soon found himself climbing farther up through the castle until he was sure he was above ground level and he realized he had no idea where he wanted to go. He made a slight turn, taking in his surroundings, and headed up the next flight of stairs.

As he turned the corner he heard a crash that nearly lost him his hold on the cloak. He heard a smaller echoing crash and turned to a door of an apparently abandoned classroom. He peered in through the small window on the door and seeing nothing, cautiously opened the door. He took a step in and thought he might have imagined the noise when there was another crash that sent his heart skidding as an orange cat bolted out from beneath a chair, knocking it into another chair next to it, apparently in pursuit of some poor creature.

He had time enough to take in a flat face and matted orange fur before the cat was out of the classroom and dashing down the corridor he had just come through. He chuckled to himself and back out of the classroom, closing the door behind him softly and continued on his way to no particular destination. He turned the corner and entered an unfamiliar corridor where the right-hand wall was studded with tall windows reaching from a pointed beginning slightly beneath the ceiling and expanding until it hit thigh level and stopped with a thick sill. They covered the wall until the end of the corridor, spaced at the most a foot apart each, giving the illusion that there was no wall on the right side of the corridor.

He was on the third floor and the most he could see was a large expanse of rich blue night sky sprinkled with bright stars the way only a country sky could be, stretching out over an almost empty field of light green mildew covered grass. He stopped to gaze out the window and noticed the at least half the windows were open and without glass as a cold gust blew in and ruffled the fabric of his cloak against his skin.

As he stopped to appreciate the romantic view the wind was suddenly knocked out of him as something collided with his stomach. His hand reached out automatically in front of him and met a filmy material which he tugged at as his invisibility cloak began to slide off his body.

In a few seconds his grey eyes met a startled emerald gaze much with the same expression as his own. Two invisibility cloaks slid to the ground as Draco clutched at his side and as the other boy brought his hand to his face with a small mutter of "ow". Draco felt the side of his face throb a bit with pain as he realized they had collided face first into each other, or rather, the boy had collided face first with him.

"You again!" Draco exclaimed before he could stop himself. "What are you doing out here?". Potter toke a second to understand the situation and get over his initial shock before responding with an exclaimed "what are you doing here?". "I'm…" Draco began, he glanced to the side, then looked to Harry again and gave a small smile, "Taking a walk" he finished.

Potter just stared at him and Draco cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter, "And what are you doing out this late? I am a prefect you know, and if I recall correctly this is very much against the rules". "I'm….taking a walk as well" Potter replied, seeming to stiffen up a bit. He looked down at his cloak and Draco got the impression he was considering grabbing it and running. For some reason or other Draco didn't want that and let out a small laugh, startling the other boy.

"I'm not going to report you or anything…"he said, "No need to worry Potter". "I was only…joking" he added, feeling how awkward it felt saying that to Potter. The dark haired boy looked at him a bit suspiciously and Draco bent down and picked up their cloaks, handing Harry his almost as a peace offering. "Nice view ay" Draco said awkwardly, turning his attention back to the window, not capable of Holding Harry's gaze.

The other boy turned to look and nodded, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Harry turned back to Draco and noticed him rubbing at his stomach and said " Sorry about that, I sort of collided with you there", slowly beginning to let go of his wariness of the boy but not completely throwing caution to the wind. Draco turned back to look at him and then down at his side. "Yeah, I was looking out the window so I didn't see you coming…" He began. Harry laughed and said "You wouldn't have seen me coming anyway". He lifted his arm and shook it to show the cloak hanging from it. "Oh yeah." Draco replied, feeling himself blush slightly and uttering a small laugh himself.

"Invisibility cloak too huh?" Harry asked. "Yeah, my uncle gave it to me this year actually" Draco replied. "Oh, I've had mine for a long time now, it was my fathers…" Harry began, but stopped himself with the realization that he was just divulging information to a former (former?) enemy. Draco noticed this but pretend not to and said "Well that explains a lot" and laughed, smoothing the bump over. After a moment Harry laughed too.

"So what are you doing out here really?" Harry asked Draco, feeling he had some right to ask since he had divulged some personal knowledge. "I told you, I'm talking a walk" Draco said, then gave a half smile at the look of suspicion on the other boy's face. "Really, I am" he said, "I'm not up to any secret evil plans…".

"Promise?" Harry asked. Draco laughed and said "Promise, and what are you really doing?". "Honestly, I was out on the ground flying, and now I really am taking a walk, but I'm getting a bit tired".

"Well" Draco began, "This is a nice place to sit down and rest" he finished, gesturing to the windows and the sills. "Ya, you're right, it is" Harry replied and headed towards an open window, sitting down on the floor so that his back was to it. After a moments hesitation Draco joined him on the ground, feeling the cold marble of the floor against his palms and the delicious shiver of the cold wind hitting the back of his neck and scattering the blonde hair there.

They sat in a silence that should have been awkward but was surprisingly comfortable despite the knowledge of how odd the whole event was and how it shouldn't have been happening in the first place. According to whom, neither knew, and Harry decided at about the same time as Draco did that it didn't really matter because something that comfortable is fine and right by his standards.

"You were flying in this cold and wind?" Draco asked out of the blue, turning his head to look at Harry and noticing how their heads were not that far apart. "Ya" Harry replied. "Must have felt great" Draco said and was rewarded with a grin from Harry. The boy turned around and faced the window, bracing his hands on the window sill and standing on his knees. "I was restless" he said smiling as the breeze hit his face and blew jet black strands of hair away from his forehead, revealing his lighting shaped scar and once again it dawned on Draco how weird this moment was, but how strangely comfortable, which made it even weirder.

Draco watched him and Harry suddenly turned and caught his gaze, then returned to his sitting position. Draco noticed they were sitting much closer now, the sides of their hands almost touching and Draco found it odd that he could feel the heat pulsing from Harry's hand sitting closely next to his, also making him suddenly aware that all he was wearing was a thin t-shirt and silk pajama pants. "This is perfect Quidditch weather" Harry said, breaking through Draco's thoughts.

To distract himself Draco hooked onto the subject and soon they were discussing Quidditch as if they hadn't hated each other through most of their years at Hogwarts. Who knows how long later Harry had his hands in the air in front of them gesturing to demonstrate a quidditch move. When he dropped them back to the ground his hand slipped and landed on Draco's, sending a not unpleasant jolt through him even as Harry tossed a "sorry" at him and removed it.

Draco stiffened and sat up quickly, then said "shit we should be getting back to our dorms, it must be late". Harry looked around and it seemed to dawn on him how long they had spent sitting there. When he turned to look back at Draco the blonde boy was already standing up and dusting off his pajama pants. Draco wasn't really all that worried about the time they had spent there but rather more about the jolt he had felt. He was glad to have an excuse to leave but was a bit disappointed to let the moment go.

"I'll, um, see you later Harry" Draco muttered, and Harry noticed the other boy's face was slightly flushed just as he disappeared under the folds of an invisibility cloak and disappeared. He felt the same lingering disappointment as Draco had felt as he pulled his own cloak on, and then something came to his attention and made him smile a bit, even as it slipped Draco's attention entirely. Draco had called him Harry.

**A/n:** Well there you go, its been awhile, been busy but school here is almost over so hopefully ill have more time to write, thanks to everyone who's been lovely enough to review, love you all, and plz R &R this next installment as well, still don't know exactly where I'm going with this but wherever it is, I'm getting there!


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